Are YOU saying YES to YOU

I have noticed that there are things I really want to attract in life that simply don’t happen and I find myself wondering why? As I pondered this question the other day, a roadSIGN appeared in the form of a question. The question: Am I saying YES to me?

I had to take a step back as I considered my answer. Here I am a coach for others, reminding my clients to be clear on their boundaries, both personal and professional and the importance of saying NO when NO is the right answer. I often use my favorite Jack Canfield quote to facilitate this, “I am not saying NO to you, I am saying YES to me.” There it is, saying YES to me, but am I ?.

Here is what I have noticed. I don’t give myself permission to do lots of things, partly because I am a bit of a ‘doing’ addict and I like to keep busy and partly because, like everyone else, I still get caught up in what needs to be done. I also have an extraordinary sense of urgency meaning that things generally need to be done NOW. I get in my own way and my desire to go to the new Yoga classes, or to make time for a daily workout, or to simply go to the meditation room to relax or read, often goes by the way. I have not learned to say YES to the ‘being’ side of me nor have I learned to say NO to the ‘doing’ me. What a complicated paradox this poses!

I know I am not alone in this situation, that those of you who are reading this are probably nodding your heads as you share my conundrum. After considerable reflection, I have decided that this is what we need to learn. Not only do we need to be clear on our boundaries with others we need to also set some boundaries with ourselves. You can’t have work-life balance, which seems to be the catch phrase recently, without reigning ourselves in. Only then can we understand what we want to say YES to and then creating space for those important YES’s to actually happen.

For me this means stepping away from the office by 5:30 p.m. at the latest so I can head to my workout area or putting those Yoga classes right in my schedule so that the time is reserved. It means saying YES to the trips I want to make or dedicating time to the other items on my ‘bucket list’, knowing that without the YES it surely won’t happen. It means that when I simply want to sit down, catch my breath and read for a few minutes, I simply allow myself to do so.

Here was my other wake-up call and roadSIGN – a good friend of mine was recently diagnosed with ALS. This is a progressive illness commonly known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease, which slowly and insidiously steals your life from you. I am thinking, there but for the grace of God go I. I received an e-mail from her the other day as she and her husband have decided to travel for the next three months before the time comes when she will not be able to do so. I asked myself, “what am I waiting for?”

What are you waiting for? What is it you really want? Are you ready to say YES to yourself and give yourself permission to do and be the things you most want in your life? If not now, when? Only YOU can make it happen. It is your life and whether you believe it or not, you are the boss of you.

Okay, I hear you, I am also guilty. Here is my pledge: I intend to start today by honoring my need for ME FIRST time. I am putting at least 2 yoga classes in my schedule for next week. I am reviewing my ‘bucket list’ this weekend and determining which of the items are my first priority. I am putting my trip to Baffin Island into the calendar. And I am dedicating at least fifteen minutes everyday to read. It may not be everything I want to say YES to and it is the first chewable chunk.

What are you saying YES to? Times a wastin’ as we say – no more hesitating.

Until next time…

 

Betty

I have noticed that there are things I really want to attract in life that simply don’t happen and I find myself wondering why? As I pondered this question the other day, a roadSIGN appeared in the form of a question. The question: Am I saying YES to me?

I had to take a step back as I considered my answer. Here I am a coach for others, reminding my clients to be clear on their boundaries, both personal and professional and the importance of saying NO when NO is the right answer. I often use my favorite Jack Canfield quote to facilitate this, “I am not saying NO to you, I am saying YES to me.” There it is, saying YES to me, but am I ?

Here is what I have noticed. I don’t give myself permission to do lots of things, partly because I am a bit of a ‘doing’ addict and I like to keep busy and partly because, like everyone else, I still get caught up in what needs to be done. I also have an extraordinary sense of urgency meaning that things generally need to be done NOW. I get in my own way and my desire to go to the new Yoga classes, or to make time for a daily workout, or to simply go to the meditation room to relax or read, often goes by the way. I have not learned to say YES to the ‘being’ side of me nor have I learned to say NO to the ‘doing’ me. What a complicated paradox this poses!

I know I am not alone in this situation, that those of you who are reading this are probably nodding your heads as you share my conundrum. After considerable reflection, I have decided that this is what we need to learn. Not only do we need to be clear on our boundaries with others we need to also set some boundaries with ourselves. You can’t have work-life balance, which seems to be the catch phrase recently, without reigning ourselves in. Only then can we understand what we want to say YES to and then creating space for those important YES’s to actually happen.

For me this means stepping away from the office by 5:30 p.m. at the latest so I can head to my workout area or putting those Yoga classes right in my schedule so that the time is reserved. It means saying YES to the trips I want to make or dedicating time to the other items on my ‘bucket list’, knowing that without the YES it surely won’t happen. It means that when I simply want to sit down, catch my breath and read for a few minutes, I simply allow myself to do so.

Here was my other wake-up call and roadSIGN – a good friend of mine was recently diagnosed with ALS. This is a progressive illness commonly known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease, which slowly and insidiously steals your life from you. I am thinking, there but for the grace of God go I. I received an e-mail from her the other day as she and her husband have decided to travel for the next three months before the time comes when she will not be able to do so. I asked myself, “what am I waiting for?”

What are you waiting for? What is it you really want? Are you ready to say YES to yourself and give yourself permission to do and be the things you most want in your life? If not now, when? Only YOU can make it happen. It is your life and whether you believe it or not, you are the boss of you.

Okay, I hear you, I am also guilty. Here is my pledge: I intend to start today by honoring my need for ME FIRST time. I am putting at least 2 yoga classes in my schedule for next week. I am reviewing my ‘bucket list’ this weekend and determining which of the items are my first priority. I am putting my trip to Baffin Island into the calendar. And I am dedicating at least fifteen minutes everyday to read. It may not be everything I want to say YES to and it is the first chewable chunk.

What are you saying YES to? Times a wastin’ as we say – no more hesitating.

Until Next time…

Betty

 

Creative Destruction

I received an e-mail just the other day from a former coaching client where she shared that she was engaged in creative destruction. This conjured up all sorts of images for me as I imagined what creative destruction might actually mean. And there was a part of me that said, YES, I get it! I have been in the process of moving from floor to floor in our house, ripping things apart, purging the accumulated stuff of years gone by, de-cluttering everything I can in preparation for a move to our new office. I unleashed my inner dragon – just ask my poor husband who for the most part simply stayed out of my way. This is not the first time he has witnessed my creative destruction as this has occurred with every significant move we have had.

In the notion of space management (December roadSIGNS column), I have learned that despite my best efforts, paper, books, files, binders, office materials, you name it, simply accumulate. And, I have learned that once I begin the process in one part of my house, a domino effect occurs. Example: Move old office, furniture and contents to new office. Re-paint and clean old office and move coaching/meditation room to that location. Clean old coaching/meditation room and convert to third bedroom. Build ‘murphy bed’ in new coaching room to allow for conversion into forth bedroom. Whew! Now bear in mind that at each step of the way the creative destruction part involves assessing just how much you are going to move and what needs to be purged first. All in all I have released seven large recycle bins of paper and eight boxes of books. This plus all the things that were simply thrown away has created a much lighter household.

Now all I have to do is apply these same lessons to the rest of my life. Care to join me? If you do here are the questions I have been asking myself:

1. What are you prepared to discard that really doesn’t fit with your current picture of you? Consider any limiting beliefs you have about yourself, any fears that are old and dusty, any messages from parents, teachers or others which are out of date and simply need to be purged.

2. What stories have you filed away that feels like a ball and chain around your ankle? Consider people and /or situations you have not forgiven and where forgiveness is long overdue or situations which you feel you did not handle well and need to forgive yourself.

3. What relationships need to be ended? Consider those people in your life who criticize you or do not support you or people you simply don’t connect with as they have different values than you have. Let them go.

4. What is it you want to engage in that really fuels your passion? Whether this is work or play, begin to assess how and where you spend your time and decide whether this is time well spent. Consider how the activity makes you feel. If it doesn’t light you up, find something that does. Be curious and experiment.

I can see that in examining these questions I have a few critical decisions to make myself, and with the beginning of another new year – what perfect timing. Here we are in 2012 where the spiritual gurus are predicting the end of the world as we know it (a pretty heavy thought I admit). Without understanding fully what that means, I have decided, like my client, that a little creative destruction will do the trick and force me to simply be more conscious of the choices I am making today and in my tomorrows. I invite each of you to do the same and to wonder what is up for you to change or shift in your life, to release anything that no longer serves you and to make space for all that is in your highest good.

Watch out world, here we come!

Until next  time

Betty

New Beginnings

It seems to me that each new year is a new beginning. I don’t know why I continue to fall for this as, in reality, everyday is a new beginning. Yet as we all celebrate another new year and the arrival of 2012, I feel a sense of urgency. Another year has passed. It is 2012 – OMG with all the predictions of the end of the world as we know it! I don’t want to get caught up in it.  I will be, according to the calendar, 62 later this year and time is a wastin’.

I just watched an amazing video on Ted talks by Jane Fonda, http://www.ted.com/talks/jane_fonda_life_s_third_act.html#.Twhl05gv3UA.email. I am listening to her speak about the third act which begins at age 60 and again, had another reality check. How is it possible I am in my third act when in so many ways it feels like the first act. I think sometimes we need to live life backwards, that we miss that life really begins in so many ways at 60. Yes that is what Fonda was saying as well, that the third act is that time when we get to really understand the many lessons of this lifetime and perhaps finally apply the wisdom we have gained. And I am there.

I would not repeat my younger years for anything and I cannot think of a time in my life when I had more curiosity and energy for what is yet to come. Over the last few months Jim and I have even built a new and amazing office giving us the space to create, to dream, to expand and to live full-out. This is what we want to bring into out lives and our work.

Back to 2012, I have with discipline sat down and recorded my intentions for the year although I allowed myself the flexibility of receiving them versus forcing them this year. Over the last 10 days or so I have entered them into my journal, usually after a morning conversation with spirit or following a call with my coach, the Divine Miss Patty Walters. Intentions are truly the center of my being and my life at this point. They give me direction, keep me grounded,  and relieve any worry I have about what’s to come.

And this is the state of affairs in my neighbourhood at the moment. This year my intention is to share my writing with greater numbers of people, the blog and of course our books. And so it is,

Until next time

Betty

Space Management

Throughout the fall Jim and I have been in the process of renovating the space above our garage to serve as a new office  for roadSIGNS. The process has been a relatively painless one as we have had amazing builders and the project was not directly in the house. Everything was running smoothly until we actually began moving furniture, books and files. After almost 15 years in business there was a lot of stuff in our space.

I like to use the term space management instead of time management. Space management is about assessing what takes up the space in your life. This can be in your physical field, such as those cluttered closets, basements and garages that are difficult to navigate and in which you can be buried if you are not careful. Likewise, we need to assess our emotional – spiritual space and relationship space. Now what would these refer to?

Emotional – Spiritual Space:
This is where I ask you to consider the movie that is playing in your head and/or the music playing in your ear. Without realizing it you may be filling your space with a spiritually depleting message about who you are. The script and the movie portrays you as less than perfect, in fact flawed, undeserving, unworthy – you get the picture. With a new year approaching, I am suggesting that this movie needs re-writing. It is time for you to de-clutter those unwanted messages from your self-critic and begin shaking hands with your coach. The script, in my view, should rave about who you are, your uniqueness and what amazing things you have achieved. The script lifts you, makes you feel good and brings you into a joyful relationship with you.

Relationship Space:
Just in time for the holiday season, it is time to ask yourself what relationships take up the space in your life? Oh those! Yep, who is it you truly love to spend time with?

I know, the holiday season is all about obligation and spending time with Uncle Joe and Aunt Molly who you really wish you weren’t related to. What do you do with those less than perfect relationships that push their way into your space?

This is where the tough decisions lie and where your ‘no-how’ comes in. First, decide who you really want to play with in this lifetime. Take the time to record the qualities and characteristics of your perfect friend/relative/colleague. Learn to say NO to those less than perfect people in your life or at least decide to put limitations on how much space they occupy. Believe it or not, you have the choice. And yes, you may offend a few folks along the way, and that is their stuff not yours. The thing is, wouldn’t you rather fill your relationship space with your favorite people?

As I was de-cluttering my physical space in preparation for the big move, I threw out boxes of paper, all of them meaningful at one point in my life and yet not important now. As humans we do tend to hold on too tightly at times. I find myself wondering about that and why that is so.

As you approach the holiday season, ask yourself what you want your holiday space filled with. My suggestions:
- spend the time with the people you really love and who love you
- spend less money on gifts and convert this into quality time with others
- assess how much stuff is already in your space and wonder if you really need more
- be generous with yourself and fill your emotional-spiritual space with your dreams, your visions, and the celebration for who you are.
- this is a perfect time to de-clutter your physical space and share forward extra food, clothes, bedding, furniture, toys or books to those in need. Agape or Baldwin House would welcome your contributions.

Happy Holidays!

Until next time…

 

Betty

Make Procrastination Work for YOU

We all have those moments in our lives where we procrastinate. Chances are that, when this happens, you find yourself being very critical of your ability to put things off. I want to offer you another strategy for dealing with procrastination; one which I believe can help you to make your procrastination habits work for you.

Understand it First:

Before you jump into criticizing yourself, take a step back and understand what is behind your procrastination. Here are some of the common reasons I have uncovered with my coaching clients and some proposed solutions.

1. You don’t understand the goal or desired outcome of the activity you are involved in. This may happen because you are not clear yourself or because the person assigning you the task has not been clear in delegating to you. In this case, slow down and ask yourself what it is you really want, get clear on your specific outcome and what you want as a result. If the task has been delegated to you, sit with the other person and clarify the expectations.

2. You are a perfectionist. When you are playing the perfectionist game you end up stalling. Perfectionism requires that everything is perfect before you begin, all your ducks need to be lined up! Because you also want a perfect outcome, you throw yourself into overwhelm. The cycle is a vicious one! To deal with perfectionism, break your goal or task down into ‘chewable chunks’ and deal with that bite-size piece first. This helps to manage the overwhelm and minimize the planning required. Once you experience success with the first bite, you will have the confidence to move forward.

3. You lack confidence or the no-how to perform the task at hand. This is not uncommon especially when starting something new. A great strategy here is to remind yourself that you already have a great deal of knowledge; you are just applying it in a different way. Take what you know and apply this to the new activity. Bite off that first chewable chunk and start one step at a time.

4. You feel like a fraud. You hesitate to continue or start something new for fear that someone else will think you do not have the necessary education or expertise. Again, using the previous strategy, remember your experience and your accomplishments and remind yourself that you are simply building on this. Feeling like a fraud is usually your ‘stuff’; your sense of what others think is generally not valid.

5. You have previously had a negative experience with something similar. The memory of that ‘failure’ is haunting you and you just can’t get started. This is where you manage your fear and shift it into setting an intention for success. For example, I have all the competence and skill I require to be a success in this project. This is a positive growth experience for me. The last experience taught me all I need to know.

6. What you have been asked to do places you out of integrity with yourself. It is not unusual that other people ask you to do something that is contrary to your core values. If you are sensing a growing uneasiness with a request, it is time to exercise your NO-How and simply refuse to take it on. This is where hesitation works in your favor – you are exercising your judgment.

7. There is fear somewhere down the line and it is not immediately obvious. Fear is a common thing and it can be fear of failure, success, or the unknown. If this is behind your procrastination, take the time to examine what your fear is. Ask yourself this important question, “what is the worst thing that can happen as a result?” When you name the worst case scenario it usually minimizes the risk as you realize the ‘worst’ is not really that bad (and generally doesn’t even happen).

Facing procrastination and staring it down is one of the best things you can do for your life and your business. It helps you to understand what is behind it and take the time to strategize just how to approach it. You do not have to stay in the procrastination zone when you take this approach as, understanding it, helps you conquer it and indeed, make it work for YOU.

As Ottawa psychologist and business consultant Nancy Morris teaches, learn to use procrastination to solve the issues you are currently facing and understand why it is happening. Procrastination is an opportunity. From this point forward you do not have to complain about it or criticize yourself for it. Simply take the time to analyze it and when you understand it, create a strategy for moving forward.

Until next time…

Betty

Re-Programing

It is rare these days to find something truly inspiring on television which is why the ABC interview with Gabrielle Giffords and her husband, astronaut and shuttle commander Mark Kelly, totally captivated me when it aired November 13th. For those of you who don’t know her, Giffords is the congresswoman who was shot in the head outside a shopping center in Tucson, Arizona one year ago. The injury should have killed her but it did not. The injury should have rendered her helpless, perhaps even brain-dead, but it did not. Her indomitable spirit and her remarkable relationship with her husband have steadily led her through a course of recovery which is truly miraculous.

Neuroplasticity

Giffords journey is an example of what neurologists and rehabilitation professionals refer to as ‘neuroplasticity’ – the remarkable ability of your brain to recover from an injury and find other ways to perform the tasks it did prior to the injury. In other words, the brain re-programs its self and forms new pathways. You might be questioning the relevance this has for you. No one wants to experience the need to re-program by attracting the type of devastating injury Gabrielle Giffords sustained and yet all of us have aspects of our thinking which can benefit from re-programming. The example I most often refer to in the ‘ME FIRST’ work has to do with self-talk, re-programming the caustic voice of your self-critic into a voice which is uplifting, that of your self-coach.

From Critic to Coach

Where do you start? Begin by listening in on the tape that is running in your head. I refer to this as your elevator music – you are often only vaguely aware that it is playing until one day you become annoyed with it. Don’t wait to become annoyed; begin to notice what you are saying to yourself while you are alone, while you are driving home for work, what you are saying to your friends about your day and what you accomplished. Notice what you focus on. Do you only remember the things that didn’t get done on your ‘to do’ list, the hiccups in your day, or perhaps where you believe you ‘screwed up’. Can you even recall the highlights of your day, where you made a difference, the many things you accomplished? The critic brings you to the negative side of the equation.

Here is where your re-programing begins. Tell him or her that she is not exactly accurate, perhaps even outdated in their view of you. Be clear with your critic that you would rather hear more about the upside of who you are. Every time the critic steps in, smile and say, “unh-unh!’ and shift the conversation to your coach’s message. Your default system is the critic; you have to form a new neural pathway for the coach. Every time you re-program the brain learns and eventually the critic’s voice begins to fade and you hear your coach’s voice instead.

Make a Choice for YOU!

Gabrielle Giffords has had to fight her way back from the brink of extinction, learning to talk, think, feel, walk, and function again. She has been and continues to re-program her brain, teaching her brain new pathways everyday. Your job is the same, just easier.

First recognize that living with a loud and vocal self-critic does not serve you very well – it simply lowers your self-esteem and diminishes your personal power. You don’t want to play this way in the world, as the world needs you to play differently and to be powerful beyond measure.

Second, give yourself a great gift and begin re-programming your critic into a voice that builds you up, a voice that believes in you and respects you for who you are. You deserve it and you are the only person who can truly give yourself this gift. Re-programming begins with ‘ME FIRST’, then you attract respect from others. I encourage you to check out Gabrielle Giffords story and to be inspired by her. Then make a choice for YOU and begin your own re-programing process.

Make the shift from critic to coach. Start today as time is ‘a wastin’!

Until next time…

Betty

Lessons from the Road

As I mentioned in my previous roadSIGNS Column, I have had the opportunity over the last six weeks to travel across Canada. I have learned that it takes a certain discipline to get up each morning, check-in at the airport, travel to a new city, arrive at a new hotel each night and remember what room I have been assigned and finally, show up every evening with and enthusiastic and engaging presentation. As a result of my
observations of myself and others, I have learned many lessons which of course, not only apply to travelling but to life in general. It’s just that travelling puts everything under a microscope.

Lesson Number One: Stay in the Moment.

As someone who is notorious for thinking about what’s next, or what is happening next week, I have learned that this is not an effective strategy when I am travelling. Staying grounded and living in the moment however, is. The routine of changing locations everyday has forced me to wake up, ask what city and hotel I am in, assess where I am travelling to that day and upon arrival, focus on that evening’s program. Thinking ahead too far only creates confusion and distraction.

Lesson Number Two: Be Patient and Smile a Lot

When you have to go through airline security for several days in a row, it is very easy to become annoyed. I have never taken jackets, boots and belts off so many times in my life and I feel constantly embarrassed about undressing in public. The key to surviving this daily assault is to be patient, to joke with the security guards (imagine having their job!) and to smile a lot. That smile changes everything and lights people up along the way. I have learned that airport security is simply a job that has to be done and not to take it personally.

Lesson Number Three: Inspire Others

As I travel through these airports, I hand out attractionCARDS, inspiring messages which we produce here at roadSIGNS. This may be the agent at the check-in desk, the server at Starbucks, the occasional flight attendant, waiters and waitresses or shop keepers. What I have noticed is how a small thing like offering someone a message for their day makes a difference. One server at the airport in Halifax shared with me that travelers
are not nice people. They are always in a hurry and chronically grumpy. After offering her and her colleague an attractionCARD they lit up and stated that I had “made their day!” It’s not difficult to inspire others.

Lesson Number Four: When I Inspire Others I am Inspired

I have also noticed that when I take a moment to be pleasant, to smile, or tooffer a message, the same energy returns to me. As I leave an interaction with anotherperson, I frequently see them smiling and sharing the message I offered themwith someone else. And that lights me up. I realize that if I stay lit up and inspired it has an impact on my being, my work and my relationships. Energy given; energy received.

Lesson Number Five: Stay Rested

A constant change in time zones, a new hotel bed every night and evening programs which keep me awake thinking, make staying rested a real challenge. I developed the habit of meditating before each event, 15 to 30 minutes, of quiet reflection and breathing. It is interesting that I don’t afford myself that luxury when I am not travelling even though I know the benefits and how it allows me to be ‘on’ during my evening workshops. It is important ME FIRST time, that opportunity to serve myself first so that I can serve others well.

I am sure there have been other lessons as well – these are the principle ones. They apply to all of our days not just the travelling ones. And so I invite you to join with me and practice being present, being patient and smiling a lot, inspiring others and as a result, being inspired and staying
rested with a daily dose of ME FIRST time. These simple lessons can change your life in so many ways.

 

Until next time…

Betty

Betty Healey is the roadSIGNS Coach, coaching people back to life! Her new book, The ME FIRST Playbook, is now available at
the roadSIGNS website, www.roadSIGNS.ca

The Dance

CBC is definitely my preference for radio listening. I especially enjoy the morning show with Jian Ghomeshi, although I don’t always appreciate his taste in music. In listening to radio shows like Jian’s Q, I frequently hear something that is a roadSIGN for me or something that triggers a train of thought or a new understanding. I love that roadSIGNS come in so many different forms.

On Tuesday of this past week, as I started the five hour drive to Toronto, Jian was interviewing well known Canadian dancer Margie Gillis. Many of you may not be familiar with her work – I was not until living in Montreal. She is not only a talented dancer – she choreographs dance works around the world and she is also a recipient of the Order of Canada. All that to say, she is an impressive figure.

At the age of 58 she continues to dance and perform. It was this aspect of the interview that intrigued me as I realized that, despite her age, despite having arthritis in her knees and the limitations this could bring to her dance, she continues. Certainly she has modified her approach and she admitted that she did not dance with the same vigor or style as she did in her twenties. What she does is she listens to her body, and the spirit housed within that body, and adapts her choreography accordingly. To quote Margie, “ Our bodies are a wonderful metaphor for our souls”.

This was the part that intrigued me. It was perfect contrast to a comment which arrived the other day on my blog  from someone who had just turned sixty. To quote her, “I just turned 60 too. It’s so horrible because I am over the hill. I don’t enjoyed the stuff I used to …” You can see where this was going. Obviously it is a point of view to which I do not subscribe, as I believe age is largely based on attitude and the choice you make every day for living your life. Hence my attraction to Margie Gillis’ vitality.

Through these two sources what has become clear to me is that I do not want to make age an excuse for not doing things. I want to listen to my 61 year old body, ask what it is telling me and be guided by its wisdom. I want to be grateful for the road this body has travelled, the places it has taken me, and for standing up with me through all types of weather. I want to adapt my dancing, as Margie is doing, and learn the steps that serve me well at this point in my life. I want to refute the limitations and use them simply as a guide for moving forward and choosing a new choreography.

The ME FIRST message that I embrace and teach specifies that whatever it is you want to change out there, in your life, begins on the inside, with ME first. As you read this, I encourage you to check in with yourself and wonder about your approach to life. Do you embrace everyday as a new opportunity or do you moan about growing older? Are you curious about life and what lies before you or do you focus on the things you can no longer do? Are you learning new dance steps or feeling badly that you can’t jive the way you did in your twenties?

Here is where I want to play and I am inviting you to join me. I plan to start playing my music again. My choices these days are different – I love the uplifting words of Karen Drucker and the jazzy tones of Diana Krall. I can dance to these songs, slow fluid steps around my living room. They are different from the upbeat choreography of the aerobic dance I once did, but they are in tune with my body, my spirit and my soul.

Will you dance with me?

Until next time…

Betty

90 Seconds

As I read Martha Beck’s column in the most recent Oprah magazine, I was reminded once again of the importance of monitoring our thoughts. As Mike Dooley, www.tut.com, reminds us, “thought become things – choose the good ones”. So what do you do when a less than perfect thought comes bubbling up, apparently out of no where. What do you do when you become aware of these thought forms?

According to the new research emerging on neuroplasticity, spearheaded by folks like Jill Bolte Taylor (My Stroke of Insight), you have 90 seconds to re-program that thought.

WOW – only 90 seconds?

Actually 90 seconds is longer than you might think. First of all it gives you times to become aware of the thought, second it gives you time to shake hands with it, acknowledge it, and recognize that it is way less than perfect. Finally you have the opportunity to call into your awareness a more perfect thought. You get to do what I call ‘flip-it’.

What does that look like. If you find yourself in anger, resentment or judgment, ask yourself, ‘How would I rather feel?”

The answer may be something like, “I want to be in joy, peace or ease, perhaps even gratitude.”

The process then goes like this:

1. recognize the thought roaming around in your head.
2. assess how it makes you feel
3. discern if that’s really where you want to play
4. shake hands with the devilish thoughts  – do NOT dismiss it
5. be clear on where you would rather be/play
6. re-program the thought.

After 90 seconds, if you stay with the thought forms that do not serve you, they are registered in the brain. My best advice, confront, flip and shift  – in the long run this will serve you as it will be the new thought form, the one that serves you and helps you to be positive, which will be registered.

This is some food for thought (no pun intended) don’t you think?

Until next time…

Betty